Saturday, November 04, 2006

smoking skeletons - go figure

smokingskeleton, originally uploaded by cameronduff.

Happy belated Hallo'ween!

In keeping with the fun of hallo'een or "hallo-week" as it's known around these parts, I thought I'd take advantage of Andrea's mad plan for the systematic scanning of all her earthly belongings (and then some) by uploading some ghoulish themed images. Sadly the tale you're about to endure comes without photo-realist corroboration! No incriminating evidence as they say, or better yet, what comes off on the Drive stays on the Drive; or better the devil you know...

God only knows why Hallo'ween hasn't taken off in Australia; put it all together friends and what do you get!? OK so combine the universal joys of themed dress ups, alcohol in alarmingly abundant volumes, fireworks (just put that piece together with booze!!) little kids begging strangers for candy and actually making off with the booty; free street parties, more fireworks, buskers, performers, fire-twirlers, fat bastards dressed up as mexicans (don't ask why - it's just funny. Even funnier when you come across the third pair of fat bastard mexicans with beer guts and handle-bar moustaches). But wait I'm spoiling all the best gags - just wait for the bees and the evil laughing house-ghouls and so much more!!

Yes it's hallo'ween and I implore all fair-minded Australians fond of the combining of alcohol, fire-works, fancy dress and chocolate (and those of you who don't appreciate this great admixture can leave now you damn communists!) to embrace this grand northern tradition. Just think of the possibilities!! Hallo'ween at the start of summer rather than nearer the depths of winter can only encourage more wanton frivolity (hmmm maybe not such a good thing); then again think of the thinning of the gene pool as those among our more dim-witted brethren are sent to their divine makers as the result of yet another VB + fireworks + David Boon costume = sad demise fiascos? How can this fail?

Enough rhetorical chicanery! By now you're all convinced! Let me continue my story in a more conventional manner.

So last Saturday night Andrea and I trekked over to Commercial Drive for the hallo'een parade - not aware of the great maelstrom of humanity we were about the wade into we sadly neglected to dress up. Then again Andrea's new skinny black jeans were enough for a whole suburb's teenage boy fantasies so I think she got us through on the whole "1980s hair metal" motley crue thing - hmmm maybe that was just me! Anyway, skinny black jeans good - get some now - back to the drive! So with new comrades in tow we found ourselves a perch on the Drive to enjoy the passing parade and the flotsam and jetsam of local teenage toughs determined to down more cheap vodka and candy that any human should ever consider. Now just imagine hundreds of teenagers roaming the streets in Jessica Simpson costumes (boys) and/or Marelyn Manson outfits (everyone to some extent) fit to bust with sugar and cheap grog, and before you run screaming to another room for solace, imagine also families and little kids and costumes and fortune tellers and jugglers and street performers and stilt-walkers and the whole sundry carnival somehow keeping the peace. God knows how it works but these Canadians have surely found the essence of peaceful coexistence - of amity and trust - if ever it has existed. Strange days friends and stranger nights. The great Commercial Drive annual Hallo'ween street party mash up - bring your own ZZ Top beard and matching Miami Vice wayfarers' sunglasses (why do all the best ideas come after the fact huh!?).

Speaking of costumes? Holy-moly costumes aplenty - some personal favourites: the aforementioned Mexicans, not for any particular reason though the beer guts and hombre moustaches had a wonderful David Boon resonance - I shared this insight with passing comrades to blank faces yet Andrea roared like a trooper (bless her). Bumblebees - not quite sure why we saw so many bees but strangely amusing. Best of all we saw a troop of 1980s "b-movie" ninjas - one of whom was cradling a baby also dressed as a ninja for the comic master-stroke. Later in the night we saw two of these ninjas crouching low - full frontal attack style - running silently down the middle of Commercial Drive. The Drive had been blocked off to traffic so the sight of these two ninjas swiftly descending on some imagined quarry was priceless - hell I nearly fell over I was laughing so hard! Now bearing in mind even my outrageous penchant for embellishment you must take this in the most literal sense - I very nearly fell over when I saw Mum traipsing along behind these two assasins, infant still cradled in her arms, ready to finish off the sad victim no doubt. Funny? God I'm still laughing.

Otherwise the Bob Dylan lookalike perched high up in a tree in his front-yard, complete with guitar, amplifier, stool and song-sheet, braying for requests - now that was great too! With a sweet fairy godmother administering blessings to the faithful from high above on a verandah across the street, and the swollen crowds milling forward below, this was quite some sight! And all about smiling children munching happily on cavity inducing mountains of sweet treats - never have I experienced such mixing of absurdity and everyday kind-hearted neighbourliness. Amazing! After this the rains came and we decamped to Heather's lounge-room for more beer and much good natured banter on topics both obscure and profound. As a group we discussed the shifting foundations of post-socialist progressive politics in latin-America (thank God for that subscription to the Economist! Andrea and I had this one down cold) only to seque neatly into the subject of whether Oprah Winfrey is really the devil (the case for - Jonathan, the case against Andrea). From the kitchen - and the more enduring consideration of which one really is the best Simpsons season ever - I thought I may need to intervene to keep the combatants from coming to blows. Naturally, Andrea with her wine assisted erudition and the unfair advantage of her new skinny black jeans carried the day with both wit, profanity and good old fashioned Australian can do!

Love you babe!



At 9:40 PM , Blogger hell said...

hello ghoulee!

At 9:09 PM , Anonymous all of canadia said...

hello honey!


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